"One love, any love, reveals to us in our nakedness, poverty, helplessness, nothing" . must start from this poignant words of C. Pavese to make a path to overcoming the end of a love. First we must accept that the love is gone and that in the end ci ha completamente disarmati, come nella frase di Pavese. Senza un’accettazione di ciò qualsiasi percorso è inutile . Sembra scontato ciò, ma non lo è.
All’inizio, sopratutto se la fine sopraggiunge in maniera improvvisa ed imprevista, si tende a negare il tutto o quanto meno a minimizzare. Si ritiene che l’altro ritornerà , che ha confuso qualche suo dubbio o quant’altro come mancanza d’amore.
Dopo che si è arrivati ad accettare che l’amore è realmente finito, si sprofonda in un cupo, lacerante dolore. Bisogna allora concedersi un periodo di lutto . In questo periodo che può durare giorni o settimane ed even months, go and cast out all our pain. We must cry all the tears of this world. You may assist in this period from a person dear to us who work just listening, collecting ilnostro pain, we will alleviate some suffering . Go also expressed all the anger you have inside. Anallizzati go any guilt you feel. Need a
absolute detachment from the person who left us . Often, to suffer less, it tends to maintain a minimum of report, type of friendship with each other. There is an illusion that it will be less excruciating pain, while it gets only prolong the agony . Moreover, this attitude hides the hope, often unconsciously, that love can come back. So, before we can resume a formal relationship with each other even slightly, it takes time.
Act. must, meanwhile, do something positive for themselves, to fill the void in the absence of a loved one. You can not terminate a relationship of dependency without replacing another that takes its place. The new staff must be positive, however, we must seek a new strong interest, which does not fully fill the chasm left by the previous, but will help us anyway. Human nature abhors a vacuum , especially in the conduct and human emotions. If not filled, even partially, this gap, the addictive behavior is reinforced. Remember
the maximum of the philosopher Nietzsche states that "All that it should not kill me." The end of love is also a time of growth, strengthening its ability to overcome difficulties. If we succeed we will be definitely stronger and more mature. not forget the doctor's "Time" that with its passing heals all wounds. Finally I would point out to a nice U Saba "Muta fate
slowly, an hour rushes." As can be painful and slow this process of overcoming the end of a love, comes an hour where you will find to be healed. And you will realize that the most grandeamore is yet to come.
Dr. Robert Knight
From: www.psicologo.girlpower.it
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